I had an ex, who could only handle a small amount of talking. Now, I didn’t think I was that much of a talker, but apparently he would get to a point where he couldn’t handle hearing any other words, and he would say: “It’s Okay to be quiet.” I understood this as code for “shut up, I can’t take it any more,” so I wasn’t offended too much by him finding a kinder way to say it.
It definitely got me thinking about the importance of silence in communication and relationships.
- Silence is Golden or more like “white space.” In any kind of design, you learn the basic idea of spreading punches of color around a room to give the eye places to focus. In between these spots of color are generally neutral oceans of rest. The concept is pretty basic one in design, and it can also be helpful to remember in communication. If it helps you, think of the silence as the resting point from bright color. It effectively gives you a break from the “splashes of conversations” dotting your communications.
- Can you really listen, if you are talking? There’s that adage: “God gave us two ears and one mouth, so we can hear twice as much as we say.” Best to follow what nature intended, yes? Of course, we don’t count the words we say as we speak, but how would your relationship improve if you let the other person talk twice as much as you?
- Pauses draw attention. One of the basic lessons a public speaker learns is how to overcome the nervous habit of filling up quiet with sound. You can definitely tell the difference between a professional speaker and an amateur by the amount of pausing. If it is a powerful tool from a podium, can’t it be just as powerful in your personal interactions?
So remember, Shhhh… it’s okay to be quiet.
